January 24, 2018

I'm going to quote an old saying, 'The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.' About 8 years ago I started losing weight and lost 65 almost 70 lb within a few months. Basically by not eating anything but a chicken breast here and there and maybe some rice or a potato, but I pretty much starved myself. I got on the scale today and realize that I have gained all but 2 lbs back. I swore at the time that I lost the weight that I would never get back to this 'page' again and here I am .  So I'm starting all over  but this time  I'm keeping it to myself except for this little blog/diary which I'm not sure if anyone will ever read it but it's not for anytime else,  it's for me. Too many times I've told people I'm on a diet and I've lost 12 lbs or 14 lbs. and they'll encourage me with "you go girl" or "wow, keep up the great work." But really 12 or 14 lbs is something most people who are my weight, can lose in their sleep. It's superfluous fat, it should come off quickly. But a fat girl like me, likes to eat and not to make excuses but, I do have a few injuries in my neck and back that actually punish me anytime I try to engage in any strenuous activity, including just cleaning my house. So today on January 24th 2018 I've made a decision that enough's enough. I've tried so many different diets, so many different exercise routines that actually hurt me (I won't name names). Today I'm going to get smart, today I'm going to turn my life around. That's everything from having a really messy unorganized house which by the way we have to have ready to sell within the next five or six months... No pressure there! I also want to lose a hundred pounds within that time. I believe I can and not on some fad diet but by understanding my body. So I've ordered the Sherpa Diet Plan - Metabolic Renewal. I know I just said it wasn't supposed to be a "fad diet" but after looking at the video and seeing that it's possible my hormones, or lack thereof, have played a vital part in my weight gain and retention, I feel this is a solution diet and not a fad diet. I am waiting for this to arrive. Meanwhile the house can be worked on now so I've begun a declutter campaign.  Clean isn't a problem.. clutter is. I'm borderline hordarific.. (that's a horrific border uber case you were wondering) I'll also throw in a little fact that I quit my job with a major corporation to start driving for Lyft and Uber and my car note is due as well as my personal credit accounts need to be paid. So that is a lot on my plate. Sometimes it's overwhelmingly so. To be honest I am truly blessed, I have a husband with a great job so I know I'm not financially strapped in the sense of destitution if I don't get my bills paid.
First world problems right?
In my world, however,  my situation is this. I have a messy house, I have a messy body and I'm sure I'm borderline diabetic there's so many things that I need to change to make myself a better person. The first thing I'm going to do though, is I'm not going to tell anybody but you my bloggy diary. I believe that telling people I'm on a diet does more for my ego than my diet. It's like we know we need to lose weight and we're trying to assure people that,  'hey I know I'm fat but I'm trying to lose weight' and then we hear their words of encouragement and for a brief moment it makes us feel better. Well we do up until we get on the scale again. Then we feel bad because we let ourselves down by not following through with the weight loss, we also feel like we let them down.  Then the next time they see us they say,  "what happened to your diet." Well they don't really say it but like I have before with others, they think it.  It's just human nature to be curious. So here it goes... no Facebook post,  Instagram or banners. No announcement of any kind to anybody. Nothing but this blog and a quiet sigh as I step off the scale and begin my journey of a thousand miles.